What is Merdeka to you?

This year, for our National day, I am having a different set of sentiments as compared to last year.

Perhaps it's after reading pinkpau's piece, but I seem to be a little more solemn this year in greeting our nation's 50th birthday.

It's true, that most of my love for my country originates from, sad to say, the good food. Occasionally, I take pride in Manglish. I agree that we are a melting pot of cultures, we are a collage of harmonious races. But sometimes, I think I miss home so much because the people I love are all back there. Meaning that, if you move my family, my boyfriend, all my friends and all my favorite food places (please come with me, my staple mamak man) to say, Africa, I will happily trot my way there.

It scares me sometimes, when I talk to my peers, especially those studying overseas currently, and when asked about their plans upon graduation, they go "Anything but to go back to Malaysia." Since when has our home country become the last place that you want to be? And when I inform them that I have plans to go back to Malaysia, I am greeted with astonished faces and loud exclamations of "WHYYY????"

People tell me that Malaysia is a dying country. People my age.

The same people tell me that they don't want to go back to Malaysia to work, because the country has not been fair to them, and thus, they do not want to service the country.



The scariest thing is, I am actually at a point of my life where I can actually choose where I want to be. Should I desire so, after I graduate, I can stay in Melbourne, and not step foot in Malaysia. It finally comes down to: how much do I love Malaysia?



Don't tell me corruption is Malaysia's identity, that it's what makes Malaysia, Malaysia.

Don't tell me that that, hey, we are the epitome of racial integrity, because do tell me, how many friends of a different race do you have.

Don't tell me "Aiyo, Malaysian time mah!" when you are late; the defiance in your voice is not justified.

Don't tell me that there's no hope in Malaysia, because you are the who lost hope.

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I am not purportedly being unpatriotic or negative, I am just taking a step back this year, being... pensive.

And I rather it being like that, then blindly shouting "Merdeka, Merdeka!" at the top of my lungs, and chanting along our national anthem, but not knowing what does the act truly stand for. :)



Merdeka coundown at Sharmiana last night.



FINALLY got to meet up with Rebecca and Victoria.
(left to right: Rebecca, me, Jac, Victoria)


Some individual pictures with the girlies.
Yea, I could take loads of individual pictures 'cause I wasn't even tipsy last night. :P




Jac.
Whose only patriotic-looking item on her for the night was a blue bag, which you can't see as it has blended into my dress.



Mey.
Who wore green with a tinge of yellow, and proudly claims that little bit of sunshine color as her patriotic bit.



Victoria.
Blue, pass. 'Nuff said. ;)



Rebecca.
AAHHH, whom you can't see the cute little red bow on her hair! :(
And who was sick but still made it to the event. =)




This is how much Mey needs to stoop to my level! -____-




Group picture of the girls.
SMALLS WONG, WHERE IS YOUR RED HEADBAND.





Jin Yin. This is true love for our country yo.
*edited* To correct some misconception (*cough* Jac *cough*), I wasn't pointing at my boobs k! T__T



Wai Keen! My ex-MUFY mate. He calls himself IT geek.
And it's true. Haha!




Trying to fit into the DJ girls clan, HAHAHA.
SMALLS WONG, WHERE IS YOUR RED HEADBAND.





Kai Yau, whom I met at the costume party I went recently. :)
So far, out of the few times I have been clubbing in Melbourne, I have seen him at least 3 times, I think! Tsk tsk! :P




August, whom I met in a my recent ski trip distress (when my boots were slated over with ice, and I couldn't wear my skis).


We met once again during a recent career fair, and we ccould actually recognize each other beyond his ski mask, and erm, my cute ski hat and cheap Sportsgirl sunnies; and well, the rest is history. ;)



Haha, this picture is so cute!
I swear I don't remember what I was looking/pointing at k. -_-




Pictures of the flat hair flat makes me happy. :)
SMALLS WONG, WHERE IS YOUR RED HEADBAND.




Yen Jun, who looks SO hot here! :)



And Audrey, sorry ya, but these pics will make you green in envy, haha!


Wen Loong, whom I met through Audrey.




Nemo aka birthday boy! Wen Loong, me, and I am not sure who, but I think she's Hong Sze.




Free-styling on the dancefloor.
SMALLS WONG, WHERE IS YOUR RED HEADBAND.




Me, Yen Jun, Smalls, Jac.
SMALLS WONG, WHERE IS YOUR RED HEADBAND.





Isaac, with the MOST AMAZING memory ever.
I met him momentarily through a uni mate 1 and 1/2 years ago, and he remembered me! :)




Erm, some random shots of my fave camwhoring partner. :)












Darren aka Yeff aka Tan Jin Fei.




I like this shot of me. :)




And presenting you with a newfound art-- wall-slutting.







We love Malaysia.




And oh oh oh! Did you know my dress is only 5AUD????
Tell me I am good. ;)








Showcasing the back of my 5AUD dress.










Happy birthday, Malaysia! *kiss kiss wtf.
SMALLS WONG, WHERE IS YOUR RED HEADBAND.




Oh my god, I am seriously ASHAMED.





Puckered.



And this is Arnold, who emo-ed because I took picture with everyone, but only asked him to help me snap the shots. So I had to pacify him, haha.




And he studied film and cinematography! So I asked him to snap a shot of us to show off his skills.
How's it? :D




Not a drop of alcohol in my system,


.. and yet, I am still like that. -_-





In the midst of the Merdeka countdown. :)






Halfway during Rihanna's "Umbrella"-- those are umbrellas!




Happy 50th birthday, Malaysia, my giant umbrella, my shelter, my home. :)