The lifelong battle

Emily: "I am on a diet now whereby I don't eat anything, and when I am going to faint from hunger, I have a cube of cheese..." --- The Devil Wears Prada



It should probably come as no surprise, but recently, I have been obssessed with my weight.

Yes, it is absolutely horrifying, but I think I have put on so much weight since I came to Aussie.


SO EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL.


I have been going to the gym almost everyday, and I have absolutely NO SNACKS in my room now.

If you have seen how much Shapes and Tim Tams I have stored in my cupboard before this, you would understand how drastic a change this is.

Currently, all I have in my room are apples, hairy kiwis, and oranges.

*bleah*


To speed up the process of me losing weight, I have decided to adopt the holy mantra that CARBS ARE EVIL, and at the moment, I only allow myself to have one carb meal a day.


But don't worry, I am not turning into some compulsive dieting taugeh girl, I just need to lose (a lot) of weight before I go home. This is due to the fact that my gym membership will expire in 2 weeks time, and I have already terminated my Fitness First membership back home (hence, no proper avenue to work out when I am home), and plus the fact that I predict I will gorge on all the food I miss back home the moment I touch down at Malaysia.

Therefore, I have to up my dieting efforts now.


Nevertheless, this has gotten me thinking, I really hate girls who don't eat.


Y'know, those girls who cringe and whine at the very mention of cheesecakes, brings an abascus around to keep close tabs on calories, and who takes brown rice as guilt food.

You might just be surprised by how many girls there are out there who are so weight conscious, that they are totally consumed by it.


These are a few friends that I know:


X, who never eats whenever we go out, 'cause she's never hungry.

Y, who dunked her steamed fish into water before she eats it, to wash off the 'oil'.

Z, who calculates every single calory that she takes in each day.


And these are gorgeous, intelligent women, who, in the first place, are not even fat.


I have always enjoyed my food-- it's an integral part of my life. I love sitting down at a good hearty meal,while having fun banter with people. In fact, one of my biggest joy is to sit down with a good book, with a tub of Baskin Robbin's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough on my lap, and licking my spoon.

I enjoy spending time with girls who enjoys a hearty meal when she sees one, who knows where is the best brownie in town, and who will lick off the very last drop of chocolate sauce off the plate. It's always such a turn-off to go out with someone who refuses to eat, and gasp in horror when you mention the word dessert.


I have never been stick thin, but I have always been happy with the way I look. In fact, I have been quite plump when I was younger, and to imagine, I went from a size L to a size S. I like the fact that I am sort of curvaceous, and that I have a butt and a cleavage (enhanced further with push-up bra aid). I appreciate the fact that I can carry off most clothes (yup, I just conquered skinny jeans! =p), and that I never have trouble finding clothes that fit me. Sure, there are days when I will poke at my tummy in vengeance and peer seedily at my cellulite, but at the end of it all, I would much rather not look like a stick think praying mantis, thank you very much.


God forbid, I am one of those girls who just enjoy desserts and fast food so much: brownies, muffins, burgers, chocolates, scones, nuggets, creme brulee, cheesecake, french fries, and the list goes on and on. ButI have always been an advocate of eating whatever I like (moderately), and just exercise to work them off. Yup, I want my cake and eat it too. Girls who diet just do not know what are they missing out on life!!!

Nevertheless, I have to admit, dieting has always played some kind of role in my life. There are times when I will just eat whatever I want, and there are also days whereby I ask myself repeatedly, do you need that extra helping of fries? There are also days when I am bummed by my weight, and spend my afternoon furiously cycling away on the exercising bike in my parents' room. What I am saying is, most likely, if you are a girl, you have dieted at least once in your life.

And I think it is bloody unfair that women are subjected to society's standards. Shouldn't they have Marco France which heavily promotes svelte male bodies too??? When will body image issues stop becoming an issue? When will women wake up and stop conforming to society's perceptions? Or would society changes its expectations?


Bah, too heavy a topic.




Now, would you please pass me my cupcake?