No one is going to burst my bubble!

I am enclosed in a happy bubble now. :)



Had an interim appraisal session with my performance manager just now, and I left the table (we had tea and iced milo for the discussion) beaming, and slightly shocked.



'Well done' were some of the words which reverberated in my ears after the hour-long chat. So was the brisk clap of hands which she awarded me.



I have never really thought of myself as a career woman per say, I am always more of the type to work smart rather than work hard (blindly).



But looks like it's time for a pat on my shoulders. :D

*************************************

I will be going back for a week tomorrow!


As daunting as the idea of super-cramming for 4 days for my exams is, it doesn't change the fact that I really, really need a break. I have been working really hard for the past few weeks, and I am just looking forward to kick off my shoes and be little Miss Hoe, and to be taken care by my family. Just chilling and not worrying about unfinished work or annoyed clients, and sleeping late is cause of partying and not overtime.


The idea of being home alone (technically) scares me a little of course, 'cause it'll be a week without my sisters and no boyfriend... I was so loser I even wanted to cut my break short. -_- But y'know what, fuck that shit, I am going home to enjoy myself, and that's that. Friends in KL, please make time to meet up with me! :P




Some pictures of a drama-filled night!!



Pretty Grace, who reminds me so much of Lin Ching Hsia, one of the most renowned classic beauties in the Hong Kong film industry. *click for picture of Lin Ching Hsia*




Kwek, diving wtf.




Grace again!





Alison, with her new lomo camera.


I WANT ONE TOO. T_T





Heh.




Victor! And oh no I forgot her name. :(




All types of alcohol.




Stout drinker! Not.




So cute. :)








The lucky woman who is currently in London! JEALOUS.




More alcohol.




No eyes! :P




Excited.




Same type of bangs. ;)



Twas was the night that I had the lethal combination of smoked salmon and alcohol. If you didn't know, somehow whenever I have smoked salmon + alcohol, I get really ill-- *click* and *click* for past experiences. T_T

Twas the night I fainted right outside Vintry. Woke up and found myself sitting cross-legged on the floor, gently propped up by Victor, and giggling away while exclaiming "This is so embarrassing! This is so embarrasssing!" Delirious wtf. -_-

Ended up with some minor cuts/bruises on my legs, a left cheek which hurts, and a more severe problem-- a bruised ego wtf.

Shattered.

I am damn emo. :(











No, it has nothing to do with my previous entry! I am damn emo 'cause I broke my bottle of Shishedo toner. T______T





Just talked about it in my recent entry.




I swear, I looked in shock at the shattered bottle on the floor for a good whole minute. I didn't even know it was made of glass!!! I mean, haven't they considered consumers like ME??? Shouldn't they manufacture toiletries in plastic bottles for klutzes like me. T_____T


It's barely used (I am only 3 weeks into it)! I reckon it could last me at least another 2 months. Now I have to fork out money to buy it. FML.


I think it would cost me RM100-over to replace it (I am crossing my fingers it's not RM200-over, 'cause that would mea a major heartache for m T_T), and I couldn't help thinking of all those things I shouldn't have bought and could instead be contributed into my 'Shishedo Toner Replacement Fund':

- Vivi magazine (SGD9)
- Famous Amos cookies (SGD9.20)
- Facial cotton (SGD4.95)
- Waffle (SGD1.60 wtf)

... I really don't spend a lot on work days! Not many corners I can cut back on. -_-


And I am on a Vivi frenzy recently! I don't even like the girlie Japanese fashion that much, I buy it just to gawk at the Vivi models.




In case you are wondering how Vivi models look like:

























Makes me feel so shameful for all those times that people have commented that I look like a Japanese, 'cause god, I look nothing like that. T______________T




Anyway, speaking of saving WTF, my friend is going to Europe next month, and he offered to help me get some luxury goods since designer goods are slightly cheaper in Europe + the Euro currency is really low now. I was all ho-hum, 'cause like I said, designer goods don't move me the way they did before... until I found out I can save RM800-over for a LV wallet with a koala clasp??!!! And Chanel classic cost less than my one month's salary???!!

I mean, my bonus is coming up in July... *drums fingers on table top* :P


I might not think that the number of bags define my happiness, but it doesn't mean I will pass up a good deal when it is smacked right in front of my face wtf.


Tentatively thinking of a Chanel (most likely not, 'cause they don't have the color I want this season), and maybe a new wallet? My current wallet, which incidentally I got for my birthday last year:





.... looks absolutely disgusting now! T__T


'Cause there was one day my water bottle leaked, and I found my wallet lying in a pool of water in my bag. T__T That was the day it died (and my heart died a little too wtf). T__T


But maybe I should consider bringing it for a cleaning session at Prada before I think of replacing it. *practical* Not that I think it can be saved though, it really looks bad now. -_-



Temptations, temptations. :P

-

I am sure this comes as no surprise to some of you,














but I have broken up.







For a long time I have debated with myself,
whether I should divulge it in my blog,
because really, I am not obligated to.
And I don't like prying people.




But then again,
who am I kidding.
For coming to 5 months,
I have not made any mention of a boyfriend,
so it really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone.




Most importantly,
I just want to be honest with myself.
And to some of you,
who have been so concerned over me,
flooding my inbox with caring emails,
asking me to take care,
to remember to smile,
to be happy,
yet never once demanding to know the reason behind my emotional entries,
at the beginning of this year.




Sorry I have not replied those kind emails.
I guess,
even till now,
it's difficult to admit to myself,
and to others,
that I have failed;
that we have failed.




Nevertheless,
it's really time I am honest with myself.
Part of this entry was actually written along my birthday entry the day before,
I guess it has something to do with a new year, growing up, coming of age,
that makes me that much determined to come clean.





I feel like a weight of burden is off my shoulders. :)




I am ok.
Just like how some of my friends who had have their hearts broken before have warned me,
there are ups and downs.
Some days, I feel all dandy and that I can do this,
but there are nights when I get swallowed by sorrow.
But the ups overweight the downs,
so I guess I am en route to full recovery.
:)




There was a time when I forced smiles and laughter so that the people who loved me would not worry,
but I can place my hand over my heart now,
and tell myself that,
every smile,
every laugh,
of mine,
is genuine,
and comes from the left side of my chest.





It's not necessary to document my entire growing experience in this ordeal,
though I think of my blog as a diary, a record of experiences.
Simply because they are kept in my head and my heart;
the very two things that I have been using to help me be stronger.



Everything happens for a reason,
and though sometimes it echoes like a lame excuse in my ears,
deep down,
I know it's true.
Life has been too good for me,
and facing a trauma like this only humbles you,
and open your eyes to the people, and the things that do care.
And oh well,
having my heart broken,
just makes me that much human.





No one goes through a traumatic experience like this,
and remain the same,
and I am happy to say that,
I have grown so much,
that not only have I became stronger,
I would also like to think that I have became a better person.
At the very least,
I have rekindled precious friendships,
that mean so much to me.




So there you go,
some of you who have been asking me the secret to my weight loss.
Have your heart broken,
and the rest will come naturally.
;)

************************************************

Joke aside,
I just want to be happy.
Which was precisely the wish that I made when I blew the candles the day before.
No Chanels,
or little trinkets,
or pretty satin dresses.
'Cause one thing I have learn is that,
happiness is intangible,
and is really a state of the mind and the heart,
as compared to the state of your bag collection.


It could be a good joke,
a perfectly baked char siew puff,
a beautiful morning.
Lovely friends,
loving family.
:)



Truth to be told,
my birthday felt like any other day to me,
mainly because I started it with work (was working past midnight),
and worked till 10pm on the actual day itself;
so essentially I only had 2 hours to celebrate,
before I gave up the crown of being a birthday girl.


I spent the 2 hours (and the hours beyond that),
sipping red wine and champagne,
have my friend serenade me with a pool cue stick wtf,
got a 'chanel' trinket (white chocolate strips arranged to be a double C -_-),
wearing a dangerously low-cut dress (in my defense I wore a cardigan during working hours) and have my colleague tell my that if we were in a club, he would picked me up in a heartbeat,
singing emo songs arm-in-arm,
splitting into team Malaysia to belch out Belaian Jiwa and Mungkin Nanti.
Laughing my head off at my Singaporean friend who read Malay words just as how he would pronounce it in English, singing 'sendiri' as 'sen-dai-ri', pronounced 'coba' as 'cobra' WTF.


It was a little strange to not be celebrating my birthday with my ultimate loved ones,
but nonetheless,
it was lovely to to be with this core group of people that I have came to love in Singapore.
When the entire trauma happened earlier this year,
I wasn't able to go home as often due to work commitments,
and it was them who told me hopeful stories,
sent me encouraging texts,
had 4-hour long lunch breaks with me wtf,
organised drinking sessions for me,
and basically was just there to make sure I am alright.
:)








What can I say,
I am a lucky girl.
Not so lucky in certain aspects,
but overall,
a blessed, loved girl.









And really, what more can I ask for. :)

That annual thing.

A few days ago, Teeny posted an entry on her blog, wishing herself and everyone else a Happy Birthday.
It wasn't her birthday, neither was the post a birthday entry for someone special.
It was an entry to commemorate the fact that we all grow a day older (and hopefully wiser) each day, and thus, Happy birthday to each and everyone of us.






I found solace in her words, 'cause isn't it enlightening, to remind yourself that there is something worth celebrating everyday.
To wake up, and whisper to yourself, Happy Birthday, xxx. :)








Today, is a little different.







Happy birthday wouldn't quite cut it.






'Cause if adhering strictly to Teeny's piece, I should wake up today, and whisper to myself, Happy Birthyear. ;)

Macao photolog.

We didn't take many pictures in Zhuhai, as we were basically eating and shopping every moment, and that doesn't make for very scenic or photogenic pictures. Unless you are interested in pictures like that wtf:









However, we did end up taking very very lovely pictures at the ruins of the St. Paul in Macao! We took tonnes, but I am just going to post up some of my favorite ones:






























We also had the famous steamed milk in Macao:




God, I love my sisters, they are so cute. :D



Jumping shots! As you can see, I am a much better jumper than Jing. :P I credit it to the fact that I actually took of my shoes in order to leap and not fall down the stairs and break my neck gracefully. ;)










At Venetian:



Gorgeous place, but unfortunately I didn't get to stay there 'cause my mom thought she has booked a room when she hasn't (and only remembered 3 days before our trip, which by then the hotel was fully booked T_T)
(Note: My family has stayed in Venetian the last time they went without me. *sniff*)




The pictures are really tiny, so feel free to click on them to view clearly! :)



Outfit:



Gray turtleneck: Zara
Gray knitted cap with scalloped hem: Forever 21
Electric blue and gray color block bodycon skirt: Thrifted
Gray tights: Random
Black and cream oxford heels: Topshop
Bag: Miu Miu